Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joke. Show all posts

Sunday, March 27, 2016

A 5 years old boy was sent to his bedroom by his father to sleep.

After 10 minutes he called "Daddy"

Daddy "What"

Boy "I want a glass of water"

Dad "No. You had your time. Now go to sleep"

After another 5 minutes

"Daddeeee!"

"Now WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY!"

"I told you NO! Now if you ask me again I'll beat you"

After another 5 minutes

"DaaaaaaaaaaDDDeeeeee"

"WHAT?"

"When you come to beat me please bring a glass of water!"

Life's good when you know how to get what you want ;)

Start the week with a smile and #HaveAGreatWorkingWeek

Monday, December 21, 2015

After a night of heavy boozing a man stumbles out of a bar. To sober up a bit he decides to walk home instead of taking a taxi.

Soon he finds himself in a dodgy part of town, where he has never been before. Then a homeless person gets in front of him and asks the man for some change.

The man looks at the bum and says: “I bet you’re gonna get beers for that money, aren’t you?”

"Oh no sir" the bum replies with the face of an angel.

“Hmmm, no beers. So you’re gonna get wine then, ey?!”

– No sir, certainly not. I never drink wine.

“Aha, so you’re gonna get hard liquor right?!

– Absolutely not sir. In fact I never touched a drop of alcohol in my entire life.

“In that case, why don’t you come with me to my place”, the man says.

– Oh sir, that would be too much hospitality. I really couldn’t.

The man looks at the bum and replies: “Hospitality? I’m not offering you anything. I just want you to come with me, so I can show my nagging wife what happens to people who don’t drink.”

Start the week with a smile and you'll #HaveAGreatWorkingWeek

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Dinner Prayer!

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating straight away.
“Jonny, wait until we’ve said our prayer,” his mother reminded him.
“I don’t have to.” – the little boy replied.
“Of course you do.” – his mother insisted. “We say a prayer before eating at our house.”
“That’s at our house,” Johnny explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”

Start the week with a smile and you'll definitely #HaveAGreatWorkingWeek

Sunday, November 29, 2015

A local NGO office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions calls him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the NGO rep mumbled, "Um, no."

The lawyer interrupts, "Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken NGO rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated NGO rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to any of them, why should I give any to you?"

Start the week with a smile and #HaveAGreatWorkingWeek